Oct 10, 2010

Weird things guys have said to me... *seriously*


I'll let you into a secret. Girls like to share the pain of a bad date, even to the point of sending their friends excerpts of text/emails from guys. I have quite a collection of funny quotes now from girls that i'm hoping to put into some kind of published format... but until then i thought why not post a sample online too ;)

Here are a few choice one-liners that have come my way recently. I'll leave it to you to decide if its 'normal' or not:

Second Date Guy: "No honestly. I eat nails." I think i thought he meant he bit his nails but no... he actually was referring to steel nails.

Mr Talks all the time: "i used to pretend i was a wolf so i could fight with my dog" is it normal for a guy to fight with his dog? He had a lot of teeth mark scars to prove it...

The Texan : "Yeah she sleeps on my sofa and pays me in kind for rent. It works well." I honestly tried to climb out the window of the bathroom after this one.

Muscle Guy: "What do you mean by the fact that you have many brothers... is there a deeper meaning to that?" No i have a lot of brothers.

The Army Guy: "Are you also a lesbian?" Eventually worked out he wanted a threesome.

The boyfriend: "Its cave-man boy time" rii-ight. maybe after eastenders?

Mr Cool: " i like that shiny shit on your face. makes you look like an alien" i take compliments where i can get them

Industry Guy: "I was thinking of where to go. Do you like Trannie-oke?" Say again?

Sex Pest:"Can i come over and give you a massage? Purely platonic of course" It was a big fat no.

The Ex: "I re-added you back on facebook so you can see that i'm over you." Not weird but i wasn't expecting it.

Mr Part-Time Model: "Truthfully though, do you think im fat?" I now know how it feels to be a guy

The Aussie: "I've lost my headphones. Can i look in your bag incase you've taken them?" what?

Cute Bar Tender: "We have to be careful of what we say, cos you know government is hiding aliens from us" just randomly thrown in a serious conversation about taxes

First Date Only Guy: "You seem distant. Is it because i've got a coldsore?" i don't think i need to answer that...

First Date Only Guy much later:"So you're not going to have sex with me. I bought u a beer?" We ended up having this argument in the street while i was getting into a taxi to go home

First Date Only Guy much much later via text:"Whats your address. I want to make sure you get home ok" Delete, delete, delete...

Ok well thats a few i can recall. Share the love if you've had any weird boy experiences...

Love ya all

L xoxo

5 comments:

Chef Green

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LMAO. I. Died. Like, seriously. Who says these things? I'm still laughing. I might aspirate my wine. I have to leave your page now. LOL that was awesome:)

the.lifestyle.artist

loool... i know. i can't believe i dated these losers! how are you? long time mister. prob my fault as i've been out of the blogosphere for a while. missed u guys x

LMC

Reading this made me wonder how fearful I am that there are men like that living in our reality. That's something I think even Halloween can't beat. Happy Halloween :)

Elizabeth

Wow, that was funny and icky and sometimes creepy! First date guy wanted your address so he could make sure you got home okay? Calling shows concern. Stalking shows signs of poor mental health.

Me

I could totally read a whole book of these. "You're pretty cause you look like an Alien." Classic.

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