Oct 10, 2010

Weird things guys have said to me... *seriously*


I'll let you into a secret. Girls like to share the pain of a bad date, even to the point of sending their friends excerpts of text/emails from guys. I have quite a collection of funny quotes now from girls that i'm hoping to put into some kind of published format... but until then i thought why not post a sample online too ;)

Here are a few choice one-liners that have come my way recently. I'll leave it to you to decide if its 'normal' or not:

Second Date Guy: "No honestly. I eat nails." I think i thought he meant he bit his nails but no... he actually was referring to steel nails.

Mr Talks all the time: "i used to pretend i was a wolf so i could fight with my dog" is it normal for a guy to fight with his dog? He had a lot of teeth mark scars to prove it...

The Texan : "Yeah she sleeps on my sofa and pays me in kind for rent. It works well." I honestly tried to climb out the window of the bathroom after this one.

Muscle Guy: "What do you mean by the fact that you have many brothers... is there a deeper meaning to that?" No i have a lot of brothers.

The Army Guy: "Are you also a lesbian?" Eventually worked out he wanted a threesome.

The boyfriend: "Its cave-man boy time" rii-ight. maybe after eastenders?

Mr Cool: " i like that shiny shit on your face. makes you look like an alien" i take compliments where i can get them

Industry Guy: "I was thinking of where to go. Do you like Trannie-oke?" Say again?

Sex Pest:"Can i come over and give you a massage? Purely platonic of course" It was a big fat no.

The Ex: "I re-added you back on facebook so you can see that i'm over you." Not weird but i wasn't expecting it.

Mr Part-Time Model: "Truthfully though, do you think im fat?" I now know how it feels to be a guy

The Aussie: "I've lost my headphones. Can i look in your bag incase you've taken them?" what?

Cute Bar Tender: "We have to be careful of what we say, cos you know government is hiding aliens from us" just randomly thrown in a serious conversation about taxes

First Date Only Guy: "You seem distant. Is it because i've got a coldsore?" i don't think i need to answer that...

First Date Only Guy much later:"So you're not going to have sex with me. I bought u a beer?" We ended up having this argument in the street while i was getting into a taxi to go home

First Date Only Guy much much later via text:"Whats your address. I want to make sure you get home ok" Delete, delete, delete...

Ok well thats a few i can recall. Share the love if you've had any weird boy experiences...

Love ya all

L xoxo

6 comments:

Chef Green

<>

LMAO. I. Died. Like, seriously. Who says these things? I'm still laughing. I might aspirate my wine. I have to leave your page now. LOL that was awesome:)

the.lifestyle.artist

loool... i know. i can't believe i dated these losers! how are you? long time mister. prob my fault as i've been out of the blogosphere for a while. missed u guys x

LMC

Reading this made me wonder how fearful I am that there are men like that living in our reality. That's something I think even Halloween can't beat. Happy Halloween :)

Elizabeth

Wow, that was funny and icky and sometimes creepy! First date guy wanted your address so he could make sure you got home okay? Calling shows concern. Stalking shows signs of poor mental health.

Me

I could totally read a whole book of these. "You're pretty cause you look like an Alien." Classic.

Carolyn Cummings

How blessed I feel now after suffering from the hands of my husband and his family. I was diagnosed with breast cancer for good 2 months and my husband and I have been married for 15 years . My husband lost the love and affection he had for me and decided to get another woman in his life. I was so devastated and restless for I was loosing my husband to another woman. I tried what I knew best to convince him not to take another woman that I will be fine but his family was so much persuading him to get a new wife. I nearly committed suicide for I felt so useless to everyone around me. At my place of work, my co-worker linked me up to a Doctor called CASERA that he can help me get my husband back and get me cured from the breast cancer for his works is effective and permanent. I contacted him via Email: [ relationshipsolutionhome@hotmail.com ] and confided in him and he told me that my case is different that as far I have made in contact with him, that my life will be a new dawn filled with smiles, joy and happiness. My husband came back pleading with me that he was so sorry for it was never his intention to leave me for another woman but that of his family for he was the only son of the family. I accepted him back and I told him that I no longer have breast cancer that i have been cured from it and today, we are so happy and I will never forget Doctor CASERA for helping me. All this took place just within 48 hours after I contacted him and the result showed up as he said it. This is his contact for anyone out there that needs his help also. E-mail: [ relationshipsolutionhome@hotmail.com ] OR Call/text: +1 (518) 460-6400. He can also cure diseases like HIV, AIDS, Herpes Virus, Cancer, E.T.C.

© 2009 The Lifestyle Artist. Powered by Blogger.

Back to TOP