Sep 8, 2009

"All girls want a boyfriend" ... er no, not in my world

I've just been listening to Lilly's new single 22. And despite the depressing lyrics.... i actually like it.

But you know. I have to disagree with it. After all i'm nearly 30 and my life is definitely not over.

Going back to basics... your life is what you make it. 'Society' may dictate that by now i should be married with kids, but i love my life the way it is and one day those things may or may not come, but they do not define how happy or complete i am.

There is this myth still in circulation that all girls want boyfriends.

I think it must be a throwback from the era when women were defined by their marriage -they weren't able to vote or have rights and they definitely did not have careers. In this day and age, where women are meant to be equals, we still aren't. A girl that sleeps around is a whore and a woman that reaches the age of 30 and isn't married is an old spinster, yes, even in major cities like London.

Typically women are programmed to want to find the love of their lives and want to start a family. Its in the movies, the romance novels and even in the hearts of the women themselves. You ask any girl and her biggest dream would probably to be to fall in love, second usually to getting married and having kids. No wonder guys think all girls just want a boyfriend...

And you know what? I actually don't. Not right now.

It hit me while i was cramming two business meetings, flat hunting and a friendly lunch into a tight schedule - i don't have time to be in love. Not right now. Even if it turned up on my doorstep i'm a little reluctant to accept it. You see i've been bitten by that bug that seems to affect men quite a lot. Now i'm not sure if its because i've working hard on myself to banish a lot of my female insecurities and needs, developing my career and social life, filling my world with ambition and independence, or if its because have created a world of abundance when it comes to men and pretty much have no trouble finding a date, playmate or a boyfriend should i really want one... or all of the above ;)

Right now? i just want to focus on my career. If any guy came along who wanted some kind of commitment from me... i'm not sure i would have the time to oblige.

You see i'm selfish and i like my me time. I also like spending time with my friends and going places with 'guy' friends as well as girls. I also love not having to answer to anyone. I mean i have plenty of time to get married and be a mother. Now is the time to have my freedom, while i'm young enough to enjoy it!

But... and theres always a 'but' ;) I love doing those things that couples do. I love going on dates with someone i know well that i don't have to 'make' conversation. I only like sleeping with the same guy who knows my body and i know his. I love waking up with someone next to me and cuddling before work. I love going on holidays, cooking him meals, doing those little things like buying him presents and sending him things i know will make him laugh. I love making that one person i care about happy...

But I just don't want the hassle of having to change my life to fit someone else into it. I've had to do it time and time again before and maybe i will be able to compromise in the future.... but right now its not for me. I don't have time or the motivation to be that girlfriend - the one that chooses to stay in because three nights in a row is a bit much, who cuts out her 'guy' friends because he gets jealous, who saves for the house not herself, who has to play nice with his annoying work friends, who runs errands and does the monthly shop, who goes to bed alone waiting for him to come home, who does the washing and the ironing because he is crap at it, who shifts her goals and ambitions to fit in with his dreams, who adapts her clothes and the way she does her hair to appease him, who is suddenly aiming for less than she is able and doesn't even see it... all because she loves her boyfriend very, very much.

No i'm not ready to be that person... and i'm not sure if i ever will. I like my life and any guy who wants me will seriously have to make me fall very, very hard to change that, especially if he wants me to iron his shirts... well maybe on his birthday ;)


arun raj

hey for A long time i have been searching for the question i want a boyfriend i think i got it now

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