Jul 4, 2009

If you want to make a "connection"... sell emotions not yourself

Did you know that when models take to the catwalk there is a a key factor that contributes to seamless effect of their gliding walk.... its called alcohol.

Just before a show, on a not so surprising empty stomach, they down one glass of champers. The immediate light-headiness and buffered reality gives them a boost of confidence. They are relaxed and feel good. And so when they poise for the cameras and the onlookers they also look really good, the pictures are amazing, and the resulting show is a success.

So why do they do need to engage in the ritual of bubbles? Well, emotions convey a power sub-communication of someones agenda, outlook and personality. Being able to affect the emotional state of others is essential for those in sales and promotion. And an edge of alcohol is an easy and quick way to do it ;) In the most basic sense, we feel and take on the emotions of those around us. So if you are having a good time, feel relaxed and happy, most likely those in your company do to.

I try to use this to my advantage in business as well as social situations like dating. A lot of girls (and guys) ask me how to ensure you date is having a great time. Do you make sure you take them to their favorite place? Do you have to constantly ask them if they are ok? Do you seek their approval or entertain them at every step?

No. And if you did any of those things i can assure you your date will probably feel that you are a nervous, insecure and a bit creepy. Then comes the 'ick' factor - you are nice, but they don't fancy spending more time with you. They just don't 'feel' good around you. In fact they feel like you are making the 'date' hard work for yourself and because you can't relax... and so they can't. No one likes a slimy sales person who tries to 'convince' you to buy, so why should they like a date who sell themselves in the same way. The 'product' just feels cheap.

So what do you do?

Well in my experience its the same as being a host. The best make you feel like their home is your home. There is limited choice, because their event or party is catered to their taste, but you are free to take action or not in your own time. It is also about selling an emotional feeling. They should 'feel' that by spending time with you they get into a 'good emotional state', and so later, when they think of you, they associate you with that addictive state and seek you out for more of the same.

You can get anyone into a good emotional state just by having it yourself. And if you have solid inner game (positive self-image and attitude) then like any broadband radio station... your frequency is easier to listen to and dance to rather than tune out or into someone else's.



I couldn't agree more. If I am hanging out with a person who acts "fake" and not genuine, I quickly can read into their true character. It is much easier spending time with someone who has a confident personality and isn't afraid to show their happiness because this is who they truly are. It bugs me when people are afraid to be who they are, so instead they drink too much in front of you and try to disguise themselves so they can win your favor. The only winners in my book are the ones who care enough to be kind and compassionate, caring about you and not their own self gain.


very true, because selfish gain will always be clear as day to the people that matter ;)

i love that we see eye to eye.

thanks so much for your comments during my lack of inspiration days... x

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