Mar 4, 2009

When a guy is REALLY 'just not that into you...'

Ok i wrote this for a reply on forum on the fly and i think it has some important points for walking away if a guy is REALLY 'just not that into you'. I always planned to write this post as a follow up to the last one so 'if its not you... and it is him' then this is how to move on and get over the waste-of-space that he is ;)

So how do you tell if a guy is just using you to fill time? Well again i always look to the actions not the words (for more info see my last post). He can say the nicest/sweetest things to me but if he isn't meeting me at least halfway in effort. I walk.

And how do i deal with the possible feeling of rejection? Well... heres something i wrote earlier lol

1) CREATE AN ABUNDANCE MENTALITY: i read recently this great line 'i don't chase... i replace'. Its just a great line don't you think. I try to live in a world of abundance (especially with men) so that if he isn't into me... there are several cute/hot guys just waiting to take his place. It started out as just a belief and now its a reality for me ;) If its not the case with you yet... try just walking through your life 'knowing that there are plenty of hot guys who are going to meet you soon' and you just can't wait. it can happen anywhere at anytime ;) trust me... if you build a belief it will materialize!

2) FEED YOUR OWN EGO: There have been guys who aren't into me in the past and i just walk away. By doing that you show you don't need their attention to make you feel good as you can get that from yourself and if he isn't into you realise 'why on earth would you try to waste time making him see you as the amazing person you are?' If he can't see it straight away then he's not at your level and i would not bother to try to bring him to that level. as i only have so much energy to give and i need it for myself thank you very much...He should move there of his own free will or not at all ;) Also the reason you feel the way you do is because you are relying on others to feed your ego. Its not sustainable and you open yourself up to feeling the pain of rejection. Try this exercise. Think of how you felt when you didn't care... didn't care about something. easy come easy go... hes not important. it doesn't affect you in the slightest... afterall ur an amazing person. you know it so why would you need anyone else to tell u? Just let it go... feel yourself letting it go. Now shrug your shoulders and/or say 'whatever'. Now you have just anchored (hopefully) a feeling of detachment to that gesture of a shrug and/or the word 'whatever'. So if a situation arises when you feel rejected/frustrated/stressed as your ego is hurt and controlling your mood here and nothing else.... do the gesture. Works a treat ;)

3) BUILD YOUR ATTRACTION/VALUE: There are things you could do, if this guy was interested in to you and you wanted to improve your attraction/value in his eyes... but its not something you should expect an outcome from. You need to not care about the outcome and only then will the control be with you. I'm writing a post on attraction/value right now so will post here if you're interested ;) But essentially if you work on your own value and attraction to guys then you'll prob start to feel like you're out of his league anyway. i act like this with guys all the time and suddenly they want me again, only this time i don't want them cos they aren't good enough. I rate a guy firstly on his attraction to me! because that means if we did have something between us how amazing would it be and plus! he's obviously more mature to deal with the fact he likes me so much that he is confident enough to show me. All those 'i'm too cool/hot for you' guys just turn me off LOL

I haven't edited... just a straight copy & paste. I may tidy it up one day but for now i hope it helps ;)



Hehe Great post again! I see you have found the magic word too "whatever" :D
It's a golden word that makes everything perfect as it is.
Time for me to go the abundance of men waiting :)

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