Apr 20, 2009

The five love languages...


Make me a priority in your life... spend time with me, and i'll love you forever. 

Why? well 'quality time' for me is one of my love languages. 

If you can get past the slightly off-putting religious context of this book, its worth a read. Gary Chapman tells the reader about the 5 love languages of relationships & friendships. 

1) quality time - making someone a priority and spending time with them doing whatever makes them happy
2) words of affirmation - telling someone the positive things about them that you like/love.
3) acts of service - doing things for the other person, usually without being asked.
4) touch/tactile affection - showing affection through touch (not related to sex)
5) gifts - buying presents for the other person to show you care.

Usually everyone in your life will speak 'love' through at least one of these languages. To know what yours is can be defined by (in my experience):

- Its the language you speak to others most to show you care
- Its the one you still manage to express even in times of feeling 'cut off' from that person
- Its the one you need to have in the relationship for you to feel loved.

Me? Well i've worked out i have at least two. The main on being 'quality time' and the second one being 'touch'. 

The others... i couldn't care too much about to be honest. In my research though, when in times of feeling 'deep' love and connection you are able to express all 5... and for me that is certainly true. I can 'speak' all five when i feel 'in love'. Probably why the 'honeymoon' period is so wonderful ;)  both of you doing all five.... oh wow!

However... i find that usually i only 'speak' my main two the most and at times when i feel most 'needy' or 'un-loved'.  And it turns out that if you and your sweetheart are going through the same negative emotions and you don't 'speak' the same languages. Then you clearly aren't communicating love to each other (this works with friendships too! i tried it lol).

So the best way to 'talk' to your guy (or girl?) find out their love language and show them you care ;) And if you are a master of subtle communications... tell them what yours are too.

Anyway i do recommend a read. Even if you are single. You'll be amazed at how understanding you can become to everyone in your life... not just your partner ;)


2 comments:

Chef Green

Would it be completely sad to say that I have all of that, alone? That I'm just waiting for someone to "speak the love languages with?"

Oh well...I can speak them alone for now.

the.lifestyle.artist

LOL.... you crack me up ;) Yeah i speak them with my friends a lot. Its an interesting concept though doncha think?

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