Be your own best friend...

Sometimes i have these nights out where i tend to let loose and go a bit crazy. These are the nights for girls only. We dress up in the sexiest strapless numbers. We wear classy high heels and fine eyeliner. We drink only cocktails & champagne. And we get into trouble... a lot.

It was on one of those nights where i met a girl who was as sweet as a pea. You know, more damsel than diva... I instantly warmed to her. We talked for ages, girly bonding and such like. And it while we talked that i noticed how little faith in herself she had. In fact she put herself down so much it alarmed me. I asked her why of course she felt this way... and as you can imagine she had little self-confidence.

Me: but if you had a best friend who spoke to you like you spoke to yourself... would you tolerate it? Would you allow them to stay in your life?

Sweet Pea Girl: No. Of course not.

Me: Then why do you allow your mind to do the same? You need to be your own best friend, and be more understanding of your own faults, just like you would a friend. Because if you don't respect & love yourself, who is to say anyone else will?

Sweet Pea Girl: Oh.... 

I can relate. When i was in my early 20s i felt the same way. I had no belief in who i was. In fact i even disliked myself so much i would tell 'me' how stupid/annoying/boring i was constantly. That way, i wasn't letting myself down because i was already there.

Now I am my own best friend. I console and cheer myself on all the time. I allow for my flaws and accept them. I understand myself and enjoy my own company. And the more i like myself, the more others accept and like me for who i am too.

I explained this theory to another friend when we met for dinner Monday night. She is the most selfless & caring person i know. Though she admitted that her insecurity drives her to be charitable as a way to pamper her ego. I was interested in her approach to life. A person who had taken the 'other' road, one less travelled, and yet was not as happy as she could be. We agreed that balance was needed in order to be happy. Not completely selfish or selfless, but flexible to either or both at the same time.

Charity girl liked my concept of 'be your own best friend' but her slant on it was different. She explained that in her view it meant being able to rely on yourself and be on you own without needing anyone else. 

I think both aspects go hand in hand, as you have to care for yourself in order to trust and rely on it totally.

And so I wonder how many of us out there can count on ourselves to be 'our best friend'? After all... we have to live with ourselves for a very, very long time.