May 4, 2009

How do you define your success?

One of the things i used to love to do is gallop my horse on the beach. Unlike riding in the countryside it is without limitations. For a few seconds you have absolutely no control. You are free to go as fast as your ride can take you. The speed is breath-taking. The feeling is exhilarating. The moment is yours...

Recently i've been looking back at how i used to define my success, and how i was going to achieve it:

When i was a child and growing up i wanted to be a vet. To make my parents proud and have a career doing something loved. I was going to do well at school. Pass all my exams. Excel at study and use my brain to its fullest potential. I wanted to be different. I wanted to prove that i was more.

At college it was my social status on campus. To be the girl that every guy wanted and every girl wanted to be. I wanted to be popular, fashionable, and have it all... a regular modern-day princess. I was going to make friends and be outrageous. Dress to impress and party hard. I wanted to be different. I wanted to prove i had always been more.

In my longest relationship I wanted to be a wife & a mother. Living together was not enough. I wanted to look after the person i loved so much that he would depend on me. I wanted to be his partner, his lover, his best friend all in one. I wanted his devotion and adoration. I wanted to care for him like no one ever did and make him happy. I cooked, cleaned and anticipated his needs. I was there when he lost everything, and stood by him when he got it all back. I wanted us to be different than the rest. I wanted to prove i could keep him.

When my career took off and i began to have faith in myself, i wanted to be rich and highly skilled in anything and everything. I wanted to make a name for myself and feel the security the high value life could bring. I began collecting talents to give myself depth. I started reading & researching everything i could find on whatever had taken my fancy that month. I took a lot on. I created business projects that would work. I planned my path to making millions. I set goals and met them with satisfaction. I knew i would be different. I wanted to prove everyone wrong.

And now? whats this got to do with horse-riding on a beach? Well now my success is not defined by what i know, who i am, who loves me or what i have.... 

i realise i've grown-up a lot in the last year of getting to know myself and i no longer feel the pressure to do any of the things i wanted in the past. In fact there is no hurry. I am exactly where i should be in my life right now. No further a head or behind. I am content to just be. And those things that i felt i wanted or needed so badly. I can have them in a blink of an eye. I can have them all. In fact i already have them. But the key is to know that and live your life like it doesn't matter. I remember i am different. And proof is not needed.

My success is now defined by the answers to the questions i ask myself everyday:

"Do you live wisely? Do you make good choices. Do you love first and foremost? And do you seek to help others to know success too?"

Riding on the beach is a good example of the best way to answer. It's the intense moments we make that will enable us to say "yes... i do". My rule is this. If it makes you happy then go for it. Sort out the logistics later, or not at all ;)


Chef Green

That's a fabulous lifestyle tip. I so agree: we are ALWAYS exactly where we should be..we always have enough, we are always in the moment. The trick to happiness seems to be cruelly simple: just open your eyes and take it all in.

Tonight, I'm going to do some deep thinking...I am not really sure how I define my own success. Perhaps it lies in dreams...I still have the courage to Dream.


I really enjoyed this post.

For me, success is not defined by how much money I have, how pretty I am, how powerful my position at If I have clothes on my back, food in my belly, a positive outlook, people who I love and who love me back and am doing my best to be a good person...then I am successful.

J - "The trick to happiness seems to be cruelly simple: just open your eyes and take it all in." Yes! and today i reminded myself everything that happens is a good thing. And i mean everything... ;)

MJ - thx. i enjoyed writing it. Its a big thing with me at the moment. ppl put too much weight into what the have or who the are.... not what is. Its easy to get trapped by the mind

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