May 19, 2009

Its a turn-off when... "you are way too serious"

Most girls are emotionally in-tune. We want a guy who is in touch with his sensitive side. A guy who can talk about his feelings.

I've been there. And its frustrating when he avoids the issue, would rather enjoy the moment with you than open up and try to relate. Its hard work - there is something pressing that you just want to hash out. You want to talk through the options. You want to find out what he's thinking. You need to hear how he sees the situation. 

And we're used to our girlfriends who talk non-stop about themselves and the issues they are going through. So why can't we bond with a guy that way? Sure he may have poured his heart out before you dated... but now? He's a closed book that you just can't read. Never mind find out how it ends. 

But you know what really annoys me. When a guy is too serious. 

I had the grace to find a guy who's emotions were all over the place. And he wanted to talk about how he felt.. all the time. It got to a point when we couldn't just relax and laugh and eat dinner without him making an issue of how he felt when i passed him the salt. wft! Come on! I felt like the guy. I wanted him to just lighten up. Why was it so stressful all the time. Why did he have to turn everything in to drama... and everything into about him and how he felt? The world didn't revolve around him but when i was with him it felt that way. It was draining & boring. I spent less and less time with him. I did the guy thing and avoided his calls, kept my distance. It was just easier than admitting he was pushing me away. I was afraid he'd take it badly. And i was right. In the end he did. 

So whats my point in all this? Well it was strange for me to be in the role of a guy but it taught me some valuable lessons. No one likes being around too much drama all the time. Its hard work and its draining. Hence the reason why a cool guy will deflect your serious talk with banter and humour. And you may feel like he's avoiding the issue. Maybe he is. But there is a time and a place and there is a way to talk to a guy that doesn't make it seem like a chore.

So yes i can't stand ppl who take themselves to seriously. I love a guy who makes me laugh. A guy who can laugh at himself. A guy who doesn't read too much into what i say or what i do. A guy who is there when i need him to be. To show me what he can do for me instead of all that talk. After all... actions speak louder than words. 

And today i'm in one of those moods where everything keeps making me laugh. Yes i've got the giggles. I even got the grumpy guy behind the desk in reception to smile at me. 

Life is great like that... one smile and you get everything you wish for :)



Aww, I love this post! It totally made me day. So many times I find myself analyzing my boyfriend because I feel like he isn't emotional enough, even though he is greatest boyfriend in the world. But yes, my ex was super emotional and I always got annoyed too. My boyfriend now jokes and talks about the emotions when it counts. Thanks for reminding me that I am blessed. It's nice to meet you by the way. I am a new SITS sister and I see that you are too!

Musings of the Mrs.

I get this for sure. I always wanted the emotional guy (I used to love it when a guy would cry over me because that HAD to mean he loved me). I married a man who has not cried since he was 12, and we have had very few occasions in our relatonship to have deep discussions. And I'm glad. We are a family, we work through things, but with humor and love...not drama.


wat u said is so true!!!.. it jus rang some warning bells fr me.. thanks!!!!



i so know what you mean. i dated a guy once who talked way more then i did and man i do talk. i ended up feeling very misplaced and hated having to compete with him for a turn to talk. and "oh my word stop already with your gogo gaga feelings" is it not what us girls do? well he was a grate lover though just this small glitch in his make-up.

i too thought that was what i wanted - a guy who would pour it all out but i suppose its true that you gotta be careful what you wish for. now i date a guy who just listens to me and dosnt say much. then i feel bad that im talking him to death. his reply to the question: "you think i talk too much right?" is simply: "no my love, you just have a lot to say"

OD - nice to meet you too ;) btw i've no idea what to do at SITS yet? help??

Musings - i'm not a big fan of drama these days. Its good to see ppl agree with me ;)

nishi - hey thx for the feedback. its good to hear my blog helps in some way!

Rubby - i love that line "no my love, you just have a lot to say". haha! i'm going to use that one ;)



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