It was his birthday last week. He turned 30. Its funny but I never think of him anymore. It was just a reminder on facebook that turned my attention to him... my long term ex. We aren't friends, though I tried for so long to make it so. But it didn't work out, and now if someone ever asks me do you think you can be friends with an ex. My answer is quite simply now is 'no'.
No you can't. Not if it was real.
I tried it once with the long term ex. I loved him too much to give him up totally, but it just held me back. You remain friends because you fear to let go, to lose them forever and part of you secretly hopes that by keeping the lines of communication open, you will find away back in to their heart.
I tried it once with my re-bound guy. I valued him too much as a friend to give up the connection we had, but it just caused us both more pain. You remain friends because that was how you started out and part of you secretly hopes that things will just go back to the way they were when he was your best friend.
The best advice I ever had in getting over relationships that have run their course was and is 'no contact'. I almost wish someone had told me sooner but they probably had, only I had to learn the lesson first hand myself to understand its value.
One day maybe you can be friends… but for both of you to move on you can't think of that 'one day'. No contact means no contact, and it starts out as a permanent state, which is the only way to be fair to yourself, to your ex….
And of course to the next guy in your life... whoever he is. I think he at least deserves that ;)